While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor.
The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s.
As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet."
An award should go to the United
Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making
her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved
to fly as cargo.
A crowded United flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking
a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger
pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter
and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST
The agent replied "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help
you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll
be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers
behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public
address microphone. "May I have your attention please?"
she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We
have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If
anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man
glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, "F***
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but
you'll have to stand in line for that too."
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight
heard this announcement from the captain, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines
and will shortly crash into the ocean." The passengers were
obviously very worried about this situation, but were somewhat comforted
by the captain's next announcement. "Ladies and Gentlemen,
we at Lufthansa have prepared for such an emergency, and we would
now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers
are on the left side of the plane, and all the swimmers are on the
After this announcement, all the passengers rearranged their seating
to comply with the captain's request. Two minutes later, the captain
made a belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen
we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right
side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away
from the plane. For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of
plane... "Thank You For Flying Lufthansa."
The German controllers at Frankfurt
Airport were often short-tempered. They not only expected you to
know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance
from them. So it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened
to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British
Airways 747 (radio call Speedbird 206) after landing.
Speedbird 206: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear
of the active."
Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate."
The British Airways 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, ground, I'm looking up the gate location
Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have
you never flown to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, in 1944. But I didn't stop."